I'm back from malaysia.
back from my condom sponsered competition.
went for a dance competition in malaysia, muah.
and it was sponsered by 'Playsafe' and all of us got a box of condom.
haha.
its crappy but very interesting for a table gift.


Went to the competition place in a nervous state.
its like u're so ever ready to compete, u have been waiting for this moment.
and u just want to give it ur all, and to have fun.
but somehow the nervousness in you drowns everything away.
u start to feel weak, nervous and tired.
i always feel tired, whenever i am nervous and just finish a simple warm-up or so.
but then i kept repeating this to myself..





haha and surprisingly, my cousin knows this too.
haha, that means i'm slow....
well, "courage is not the absence of fear. but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."
"so whats more important than fear right now, joey?"
and that is "to do well."



And so, i dd my best on the dancefloor,
i superseded my fear with the urge of doing well.
and i'm happy.
at least for once, my teacher did not say.
"he scared untill his face turn green green"( in hokkien)
i duno why. haha

i think i have a very poor stamina.
i am always exhuasted halfway through every dance.
but somehow u still have to muster up ur energy and continue.
cause u dun wanna get kicked out before ur finals.
or to get a last placing.

So i competed in 3 events.
got second for 2nd for 2 events, and 4th for 1 event.
standing there waiting for the results,
is more crappy than dancing.
its like u're kept in suspense,
and its eating u up inside.
- ur heart pounds faster and harder u could feel it in ur mouth.

i kept squeezing my partner's hand.
ad u keep pleading to yourself, after every position is called.
it goes like...
And the sixth placing goes to ...
"please let it not be , me." squeezing my partner's hand harder.

And each time when u are not called, you sigh.
breathe and relaxed a little.
then the whole process repeats again untill u are called to which ever placing.

Labels: i'm wide awake and alive.