AMAZING.


alright, i came back from Pulau Ubin yesterday.
i was so freaking tired , i took a bath and slept straight away.
i slept from 5.30 to 10.
when my maid work me up , asking me to eat my dinner.
so i went back to bed at 10.30 after i finished my dinner and slept all the way till 8.35 this morning.
cause i had gymnastics. damn!
and gym today was crappy, the was something wrong witht he trampoline.
so i didn't want to jump on it.




-MONDAY-
Had gym at BSH, at 8am.
ended at 10am, and headed straight to suntec.
CARREFOUR, to get some stuffs prior to our overnight stay at Pulau Ubin.
the journey was loooooonnnggg.
had to take the train, then a bus and lastly a bumboat .
which we had to wait, at least for 12 passengers, before our bumboat can take off.


so we reached Pulua Ubin, and went to the police station to report.
and went to our campsite to settle our stuffs.
pitch the 2 tents up and laid our bags inside.
btw, there were only 3 people.
which is Shaun Moo, Shaun John and Me.
so the three of us went to rent a bike, $10, for 2 days.
and started cycling around to gather dry leaves and wood/branches.
which were essential for our campfire.

Shaun Moo brought mess tin, which enables us to cook,
settle our dinner and so on.
Had some hotdogs, before we went to the beach.
and to gather more woods.
damn, "this is fun" i thought.
that is untill...


we went to take a shower at the toilet, which was quite a distant.
so we had to cycle.
bath using the water from the tap, cause there ain't any shower rooms.
so had to bear with it.
Headed back to our campsite after that, and started cooking.
MAGGIE MEE! with eggs, and we totally left out the vegetables we bought.
damn, urghhhh....

sleeping was the hardest part , i swear.
it a freaking hot at first, so we kept fidgeting,
then it sarts to get better, untill the bloodsuckers came.
damn, if i had a flamethrower, i swear i'd burn their heads and butts off.
geeez!
.
so while tring to get some rest, we kept scratching.
And you couldn't even get a goodrest.
despite the bloodsuckers, Shaun Moo and I was worried
that some wild animals( mainly the wild boars)
might barged in.
so you'd be awaken by any movement around.
Shaun J was busy entering his "i can sleep through anything mode."
and time pass crappyhell slowy.
i woke up , annoyed by the fucking itch and looked at my watch.
damn i was praying time had pass by hours.


"2.30! WHATTHEFUCKINGSHYT!?!?!"
and from what i remembered the last time i look at my watch it was 2.
damn!!!!!
then 3am, 3.30am, 4.am.
i was so about to kill myslef, when i finally kncked off.

then at 5am, the 2 shauns started moving around.
cause lightnings were sweeping through the clouds.
they moved around the tent, trying to make sure if it rains, water doesn't seep in.
i think i was the only one who managed to sleep, when they were worried about the rain.
... but it didn't...
i had my face out in the open, exposed to the air, and all the bloodsuckers
for the whole time.
'cause i was tired of the heat , and the itches on my feet.
but luckily, there weren't any stings on my face!
wahaha!

woke up at aroun 8 plus, and ate breakfast with Shaun Moo first.
Shaun J, was still sleeping.
Had Scrambed eggs- without salt
and bread with Nutella spread(:
Oh! and Hot chocolate!


When all was awake, and taken our breakfast.
we went cycling for a few hours
and headed back to e campsite and packed our stuffs.
took the same route back as we came.
2 hours....

reached home, bath and slept.
YAY, we're gonna have another one.
ony this time, there will be more people.
the GYMNASTS!

Labels: 2 kinds of people, guess the 3rd.

sometimes, i wish i had the ability to fly, to teleport, to mutate
to...to... ... disappear.
even if its momentarily.

it'd be good enough,

good enough...

I'm back from malaysia.
back from my condom sponsered competition.
went for a dance competition in malaysia, muah.
and it was sponsered by 'Playsafe' and all of us got a box of condom.
haha.
its crappy but very interesting for a table gift.


Went to the competition place in a nervous state.
its like u're so ever ready to compete, u have been waiting for this moment.
and u just want to give it ur all, and to have fun.
but somehow the nervousness in you drowns everything away.
u start to feel weak, nervous and tired.
i always feel tired, whenever i am nervous and just finish a simple warm-up or so.
but then i kept repeating this to myself..





haha and surprisingly, my cousin knows this too.
haha, that means i'm slow....
well, "courage is not the absence of fear. but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."
"so whats more important than fear right now, joey?"
and that is "to do well."



And so, i dd my best on the dancefloor,
i superseded my fear with the urge of doing well.
and i'm happy.
at least for once, my teacher did not say.
"he scared untill his face turn green green"( in hokkien)
i duno why. haha

i think i have a very poor stamina.
i am always exhuasted halfway through every dance.
but somehow u still have to muster up ur energy and continue.
cause u dun wanna get kicked out before ur finals.
or to get a last placing.

So i competed in 3 events.
got second for 2nd for 2 events, and 4th for 1 event.
standing there waiting for the results,
is more crappy than dancing.
its like u're kept in suspense,
and its eating u up inside.
- ur heart pounds faster and harder u could feel it in ur mouth.

i kept squeezing my partner's hand.
ad u keep pleading to yourself, after every position is called.
it goes like...
And the sixth placing goes to ...
"please let it not be , me." squeezing my partner's hand harder.

And each time when u are not called, you sigh.
breathe and relaxed a little.
then the whole process repeats again untill u are called to which ever placing.

Labels: i'm wide awake and alive.

In case u didn't know.
its my birthday today!
yes, 4th november.
and i wanna thank all those who texted me and commented me on friendster.
wishing me a happy birthday, and the sweet comments.

THANK YOU ALL, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
ALOT(:

so lemme tell u how i spend my day.


- woke up at 1 this morning.
thought i had dance lesson, but nope it wasn't.
i had gymnastic.
went to bath, changed and went out of my house.

gym was okay today, at least i din slack as much as i used to.
but the sad thing was, we had little physical training today.
i was expecting more, but the hall was available today.
so we jumped the trampoline.
gym ended at 4.
Shaun Moo and i went to the back of the school to eat.
as we both skipped our lunch.
and we headed home.

Reached home, tired as usual.
went to peee(:
and brought my dog down for a walk.
he was sticking to me the whole time, usually he will just roam around.(he knows the place at his claws' tip.i always bring him to the same park.)
bcause it just rained, and he was still scared.
yes, my dog is afraid of rain, terrified of thunder.
and shivers everytime there is a rain.
so we walked for awhile and went home.

"Sana , can you help me to wash Brady's leg? Thank you"
haha , i'm a very lazy person.
so i sat on the sofa, and played psp with my brother.
i don't own a psp, cause i don't want it.
i used my sis'.
you know the game where u have to press the buttons, when the note reaches the bottom?
i don't know what it is, everyone's playing it.
its fun, and some songs are nice.

Took my dinner, went to bath.
and went online.
so i thought i was gonna spend my birthday like that.
and before u know it.
its gonna be 12am, a new day and my birhday , just passed by like any other day.
wasn't my ideal way of spending my 1th bithday.
but i didn't have any better idea on how i would spend it.
so let it be...

here's the cool part!

-then my mum came into my room and asked me out.
"faster! daddy's angry"
DAMN! and i could read her mind imediately!
i stood up and she was smiling cheekily.
i grab the wall and told her i'm not going out.
and she dragg me out.
IT WAS A BIRTHDAY CAKE! i knew it!!!!
i'm touched.
but i am not a big fan for birthday cakes.
as a matter of fact, i hate birthday cakes and songs!( but i love eating)
badly.
cause i dun like sitting/standing there, and hear people sing,
i will blush very VERY very badly.
and my whole body will practically freeze , for i don't know what to do ,
or how to repond to it.
i will just stand there and smile/laugh, but u can tell i'm forcing it.
i will quickly make a wish, blow the candles.
and thank God it over.
*take in deep breaths.

BUT, thankfully my family din sing(:
idk why.
i leaned my elbows on the table.
clasp my hands together, closed my eyes.
made a wish, and blew the candles.
YAY and i'm a happy boy!!!!!!
though there wasn't a BIG celebration!
but i am happy and contented.
Very(:
and it was "THE BEST CAKE " ever
haha, it is topped with a thin layer of cream, and the rest are ice-creams.
vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. respestively.
- from my bro and my sis!
yay! haha thanks sis!(:
and my brother!

went back to my com, and my couz talked to me.
asked me to read her post.
and boy! it as really, really um..
how do you put it to words.....
-haha its was very nice, sweet, touching and ... nice.
thanks alot couz.
reallly realllly appreciate it(:
i will cut my hair.
in fact, i will have to cut it, cause my school doesn't allow long fringe.
but thats when school reopens(:
haha, but i will cut it luh!


oh gosh! my birthday is gonna end in 5 mins=(((((
once in a year.
and its gone in a blink!
just like any other day....

once again! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MYSELF(:
may all my wishes come true!
wahahaha (:
nightss.
(((=










i got macgridles this morning! wahaha!
had to leave the house early cause , there was training at bishan sports hall.
EARLY IN THE MORNING! DAMN!!!!

reached there late, as usual.
did a little warm ups and went running around.
tried almost every equipment.
its been ages since i went to BSH.
plus it was so early, there wasn't any outsiders.
so who cares even if u went berserk.

"i'm not trying to pour cold water on you guys... ..." he explained.( in chinese)
but it was obviously what he was doing.
hopes of training artistic, and maybe to compete.
was crushed by him
winning top 4 was no longer an aim....
but damn! what can i say.

"how i wish we din't even start off with tramp"i told shaun
it wasn't even a good thing to begin with....
then the national team 2 came in to train.
how i wanted to dig a hole on the sport, and lay there.
they were really good, build and .... everything.
geeez, bangthewall.


"you know who i am or not??!!??" an old coach of ours used to quote.
"how the fuck do we know, guess what?! we don't care!" and our ignorant replies.
next thing you know,
he is no longer our coach,
and he is one of the JUDGE for our tramp competition.
damn! why din we cherish him and detested him so much??
at least he trained us for floor, and all gym related stuff.
expect tramp!
we should have sticked to that.

"blessings in disguise.." shaun said.
so now we are freaking stuck to tramp.
sigh.
well, whats done is done.
so we'll just have to work hard for it.
i love physical training.
when ur muscles all aches and everything(:









What would you do if you knew you could not fail? It’s an interesting question and one that definitely gets the creative thought process started. Take the fear of failure out of the way and a whole new world opens up and boy oh boy it’s full of possibilities.
There are lots of people that are stuck in their lives. They dream of a better job, a different living situation or perhaps a return to school. I always wanted to write a book or learn to paint you might quietly think to yourself. As you daydream about these things a little spark of excitement begins to develop and grow into a small flame. Maybe you can picture how this new dream might look.

And then, fear in all its glory steps in and extinguishes the fire of excitement and possibility. Fear can come in many forms. It could be the little voice in your head saying “Get real, you can’t do that. What if it doesn’t work out?" Oh but that is only one way fear shows up. Sometimes it shows up in the voices of those closest to you. “Why do you want to do THAT?" They ask if you happen to share your dream with them. “Things are fine just the way they are." “What if it doesn’t work?"








an article i found....


What would you do if you knew you could not fail? It’s an interesting question and one that definitely gets the creative thought process started. Take the fear of failure out of the way and a whole new world opens up and boy oh boy it’s full of possibilities.
There are lots of people that are stuck in their lives. They dream of a better job, a different living situation or perhaps a return to school. I always wanted to write a book or learn to paint you might quietly think to yourself. As you daydream about these things a little spark of excitement begins to develop and grow into a small flame. Maybe you can picture how this new dream might look.

And then, fear in all its glory steps in and extinguishes the fire of excitement and possibility. Fear can come in many forms. It could be the little voice in your head saying “Get real, you can’t do that. What if it doesn’t work out?" Oh but that is only one way fear shows up. Sometimes it shows up in the voices of those closest to you. “Why do you want to do THAT?" They ask if you happen to share your dream with them. “Things are fine just the way they are." “What if it doesn’t work?"

You know these voices of fear that are keeping you stuck in a life that isn’t making you feel complete. Most of us have heard them at one time or another. And though it is incredible to be able to find contentment and happiness in you life just as it is now; if you are experiencing a yearning or incompleteness in your life that won’t go away it’s time to ask, “What would I do if I knew I could not fail?"

Ask the question and then grab a piece of paper and start writing. Let yourself see your potential dream down on paper. Don’t immediately share your dream, except with those people who you know will support you. Anytime the voice of fear creeps into your head keep asking the question, “What would I do if I knew I could not fail?"

Before you can make a change in your life it is helpful to have a clear picture of exactly what the goal is. The more details you can incorporate the clearer and more real the goal becomes. I want a new job is a very vague goal. The following is a more helpful example. I would like to open my own financial planning business and have it be close to my home. I would like to be making about $100,000 per year and would like to have flexibility in planning my hours so that I can be involved with my kids and their sports.

I would like a small office close to, but not in my home so that I don’t take my business home with me. I only want to work with a small number of clients that I can benefit positively. I will need to take 2 courses to receive my certification and they are offered at night at the local college.

This kind of detail will begin to make the goal very real. It also allows you to take an in depth look as to what it will take to make the goal a reality. From this you can begin to break down the steps it would take to work towards achieving this goal. One step at a time you can begin to close the gap from where you are to where you want to be. Some steps will be easier than others, so just get one step started. Many people find that taking one step, even if it is the smallest one on the list begins a whole domino effect. Excitement build and you begin to think “I can do this." It is easier to ignore the fear if it creeps up as it inevitably will. Working through any fear will actually give you energy to keep on toward you dream, your goal.

When you feel ready you can share your new plan with those around you and withstand any unenthusiastic response they may give. You will be at that point un-stuck and no longer being held back by the fear of failure. And as amazing as it may sound you begin attracting into your life all the things you need to accomplish what you have set out to do.

So, one more time, what would you do if you knew you could not fail?





a kick in the ass?
yes everyone's feeling it.
well, most of us.
the dancers, after what happened, and the crappy results.

i wanted to blog, but figured i had nothing to blog about.
other than saying what happened today and , blah blah blah.
then i stumbled on my cousin's blog......
so i spent time on some stuffs....

COUZ, if it makes it any better.
i am equally as skinny, or should i say,
SKINNER than YOU!
so before u go and start shooting urself down,
picture me WITHOUT clothes, leave my undies alone.thank you(:
i want to be buff, i want to be bigger.
yes i want to be more attractive, and to be noticeable on the dancefloor.
but the more u wish the more u feel like stabbing yourself.
so why not do something about it...... right?
eg: on the dancefloor, use bigger actions to our 'advantage'
we'll work hard and excel together!

* know the pic u posted on "what would you do if you knew you could not fail"


Three simple questions…
1. If you knew you could not fail and those around you would not only suspend judgement,but wholeheartedly support you…what would you do?




===!!===


There comes a time when everyone feels as though , life sucks!
inadequacy, inferior, incapable and etc.
every one gets a kick in the ass real hard at times.
sometimes we break down.
but these are what makes us stronger,
and keep us going, right couz?











and like what u said.
'its just a phase in life'
you'll get over it.
so hang in there!(:




i've got something for u .
thats for tml.
it requires reading, loads of it.
takecare!

Labels: the other person is busy making mistakes and becoming superior, while the other is hestating because he feels inferior