MAS SELAMAT.
Was my brother's first thot,
when police came in the morning and surrounded my neighbourhood.
**wth**
Went to bath, and headed to school.
While in my father's car,
he drove another direction to see wad had happen.
A GUY WANTED TO COMMIT SUICIDE=.=
He was topless, middle age guy.
And the police had already inflated the saftey balloon-like thing,
at the bottom of where he was.
He was sitting at some edgy platform stonning-,-
WTH, if he'd really wanted to commit suicide,
he would have jumped before the things were set up.

Then i started thinking , WHY?
Some people want to lead a longer life,
maybe just by a few weeks, days or hours.
They dun even get a chance...
ha, how ironic life can be sometimes eh...

Went into a groggy state for the first period.
English.
Thot of my grandfather.
He had survived yesterday, but how long more.
Memories came gushing through my mind,
which made my tears clinged on my lower eyelid.

He was a person which one calls "garang guni"
But thats not his job though.
When i was younger, i used to live at my grandparents house.
And my grandfather would use to collect toys he found,
and chunck it in a cardbox.
I would always ransack it and find toys to play with.
I remembered how he would spare time to bring me to the playground,
and how he onced chase a dog away. (it was gonna bite me).
Eventhough we had some communication gap between us.
I really appreciated he just being there.

Totaly knocked out during SS class.
Couldn't take it, my eyes were doing weight lifting.
Went to the back of the school for lunch, had gymnastics after that.

Gym started at 3.30pm.
Dawdled ard the office area to kill time.
Munyee was doing her poa and i was waitng for her.
Trained and did a couple of good routine.
**hope i can do as good for the competition**
Talked to shaun while we were doing our splits.
Told him about my grandfather ,
and it is a weight lifted off my shoulder.
THANKS SHAUN MOO(:
Ended Gym at 6.30.

Recieved a miss called from mummy, and i had a premonition.
I called her back,
and she told me to come home quick cuz my grandfather had passed away.
I knew it was coming , but i wasn't prepared.
I wanted him to live longer.
I wanted to talk to him more.
I wanted to just sit by his side , for a little longer.
I wanted to se him breath.
I wanted to just .... just. i don't know....

Tears rolled down my eyes,
when questions started popping out by my Gym-mates.
Was comforted by most of them.
Very grateful.
Thanks guys, thanks alot.

Walked home with japhia,
she told me some of her stories and started crying.
My mind went blank din know wad to say.

Walked home thinking i might enter a house-of-grieve.
Grandma was devastated ,
it was written all over her face.
I din know wad to do.
I sat beside my grandma,
and touched my grandpa's ice-cold arm.
Touched his forehead ,
ran my fingers through his hair.
I wanted to cry at times.
i just held his hand and watched him.
Maybe this might be the last time i am holding him.
Though i din get to talk to him for the last time.
I'm contented.
At least now he is at peace,
end to his sufferings.

Helped carry him down to the first floor.
He was going to be taken away for awhile.
Had to get his clothes changed, makeup done, etc.
Came back after 1 hour plus.
Went to see him again .
He looked good.
Grandma cried .
I had mixed feelings.
Offered josstick to him.
I watched grandma and started to think.
Wad would i do if i was her,
i would be sad for sure,
but how am i going to live my life with my husband DEAD?
It would be just too, too lonley for me.

came back home and rested for awhile.
Am going back down again.